They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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