O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
