You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize