three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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