I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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