Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
