he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
