I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
