Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
