hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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