VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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