My liver just broke up with me...
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
