...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
