didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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