quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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