so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
