Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize