I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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