hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
