Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
