omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
