Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
