He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
