playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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