I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
