R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Where is the hickey?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
