i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
