is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
