I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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