just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
