Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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