I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
