Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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