seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
