god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
