He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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