The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
