So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
