The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize