Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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