i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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