So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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