all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
