I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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