For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
