When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
