Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize