And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
