she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
