nut hugger
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
