take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
