unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
