I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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