Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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