East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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