its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
