It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
