I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
