Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
