So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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