reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
