It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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