jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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