dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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