I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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